Antesa Jensen

View Original

Who I Am.

Every day when I go to sleep feels like a ceremonial burial and death.

Every morning when I wake up feels like a new birth.

Somewhere in between there I travel to far off places which stretch my mind and challenge my perception of reality more and more with each dream.

I often experience a strange form of amnesia about “yesterday” or another time than now.

It requires more work to bring past versions of myself into the present than to just discover who I am today.

And so that’s what I do. I just get to know me anew each morning.

Today is my birthday.

Who I am today is:

Joyful. Warm. Curious. Grounded. A little puffy from an encounter with pollen. Madly in love with life. Delighted by subtle things like how many incredible humans I know spread over the whole planet. Grateful to hear from so many of you in such sweet ways.

I started my day with a float, and as per usual, it was transcendental. I closed my eyes and went to The Silent Place and luxuriated there for an hour.

Then I went and got a haircut for the first time in over a year. I needed it and my hair is very happy and it was such a pleasure to be with my hair stylist for an hour and a half today. It’s also his partner’s birthday today.

Now I’m eating lunch at my favorite market in Copenhagen and for the next hour I’ll be putting a collection together and preparing to receive donations to be sent to my beloved community in Rishikesh, India. The donations will ensure that locals can eat at least one healthy meal a day for the next little while, and that they have access to medicine they need.

Later I’m going to eat All The Rhubarb Cakes and then for dinner I’m going to have Argentinian street food with two of my favorite ladies.

One might be compelled to call today a self care day, and to excuse this level of care as something that’s only acceptable on a birthday, but I’m going to be audacious and say that, for me, every day is self-care day. Every day I attend to my needs with this level of care. What’s happening right now is I’m just giving you a window in on my life.

When every day is self-care day what it turns into is simply living well.

And I’m happy to report that at 39 I’m living my best life.

My deepest birthday wish is for all to know this level of wellness and aliveness, to know in their bones how to care for themselves so well that every day is their best, most elated, life. That when you give to yourself so completely, your generosity can overflow to those who need and benefit from it most. That this circular way of giving is at the core of the nature of the universe. That we are all here to awaken to this reality.

I love you so.