A spiritual growth practice for someone you despise.
Photo by Isabell Winter on Unsplash
We all know someone we can’t stand. A person who gets so deeply underneath our skin that just the thought of them makes us itch and squirm.
Those amongst you who are the most spiritual may be initially inclined to tell me this isn’t true, that you despise no one, that not a single person on the planet makes your skin crawl.
And to you, I would question your delusion, or merely your lack of experience. So just to be sure, I’ll suggest some ideas of people you could consider:
Current or previous political leaders
Someone from your childhood who was unkind or bullied you
Family members
Ex-partners
Family members of ex or existing partners
Let’s use Donald Trump as an example (while understanding that doing so does not in any way excuse HIS behavior if you believe his behavior is inexcusable — this is an exercise FOR YOU ABOUT YOU and the key here is for you to resolve what’s happening inside of your body, not necessarily to resolve all political issues through a spiritual practice).
You may not agree with me and already think I'm crazy, but hear me out in the name of exploring a new spiritual practice.
If you think Donald Trump is a monster, a crook, a thief, a liar, an idiot, a fool, a womanizer, a misogynist, an embarrassment, or whatever else...
It's worth knowing:
Whatever you recognize in him belongs to you (see: neuroscience).
Ouch, I know that hurts.
What I'm saying is that you wouldn't be able to see those things if you didn't already have them in your own mind and human capacity. (you may not act on all the things he does, you may believe the expressions of who he is are terrible awful things, and if you’re really willing to search deep within yourself, you’ll find core similarities, just the same).
Here's what's better: the more disdain and repulse you have for him, the more likely it is that you're actually totally unaware of how you are just like that ON SOME LEVEL SOMEWHERE IN YOUR OWN LIFE.
Do you want to grow big spiritual balls/ovaries?
Here's a practice:
Make a long list of all the things you hate about the guy. Let it all out and don't hold back.
Read through the whole thing and let yourself feel all the feelings that come up for you about it.
***And then go through the list again with a fine-toothed comb and own up to where you do all those same things in your own life.***
Despite how this may immediately seem, this is not an exercise of self-blame.
This is an exercise of compassion and liberation through personal responsibility. This is about as deep as spiritual practice gets.
And.
You'll learn a lot about yourself in this process.
If you can't figure out how you do what he does, and get stuck, and want to say to yourself "there's no way I do that anywhere ever" find your most honest friend and ask them for their help.
If you truly want the experience of liberation, the best way to find it is to become porous through the practice of radical personal responsibility. When you live such that you can recognize that you want and create everything you experience, there is no other option than freedom and love.